R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
