We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
