NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
