I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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