that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
