Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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