Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
