just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think my vagina is haunted
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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