Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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