I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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