When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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