If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
