I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
