I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
