...so i touched it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize