that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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