I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
3pm strippers are depressing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
