There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize