I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
