Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
