I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
