Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
