just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
