We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
