I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
