I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
