i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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