dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
be right there i have to get my cape
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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