She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
is it fun? or sober?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
tell me about the eggs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
