erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
