what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
false alarm, still single
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
