I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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