I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
