bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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