I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
