I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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