Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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