I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
