I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
