dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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