Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
