I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
