Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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