I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We are two peas in an std pod
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
