yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
