No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
