there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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