Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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