Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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