If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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