No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
