last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
