where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
