Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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