This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Holy sore nipples Batman
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
