That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize