VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
