i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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