I have demons in me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize