so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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