Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
