If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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