Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
