so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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