You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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