I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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