I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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