Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
