The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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