let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
