Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
